The following letter was published in this week’s issue of the Gazette.

To the Editor,
Oh, Wow! We in Croton are indeed truly blessed. The financial acumen of our village board knows no limits! Eat your hearts out Carl Icahn, Jamie Diamond, Koch Brothers, Donald Trump, et al. You can’t hold a candle to our guys. The spirits of J. P. Morgan and Cornelius Vanderbilt are gazing down in awe and admiration.

Just look what they’ve done on the Croton Point Avenue (CPA) project alone. They took a prosaic effort, estimated at a measly $1.5 million, and through their herculean efforts ballooned it into a $5.2 million enterprise. That’s a 350% increase! And through ingenious wheeling and dealing, they were able to ratchet up the Croton taxpayers’ share from a trivial $300,000 to a colossal $3.4 million—that’s a fully tenfold increase! Oh, man! What other village government could possibly have reached those heights! Way to go guys!

And look what they were able to accomplish in just the past year. They sagaciously rejected a $2.9 million bid for CPA construction last spring. “We can do far better than that,” they assured us. And then, they went out and did it! The latest low bid was all the way up there at $3.8 million. That’s over a 30% increase in less than twelve months! And the management fee? It rose 25% as well. I mean, you can’t make this stuff up. Where else can one find such fiscal wizardry?

It’s no wonder they threw the Financial Sustainability Committee under the proverbial bus. Who needs experienced financial professionals working pro bono for the village when our very own board members have such awe-inspiring fiscal expertise inherent in their DNA?

And CPA is only the beginning. That estimate of $5.5 million for the new police station? Forget it! I have complete faith that they can ramp that up to $6 million or even $7 million with one hand tied behind their collective backs. And if they really put their hearts and minds into it, I have full confidence that they’ll hit $8 million, or even $9 million, before they’re all finished.

And then there’s Gouveia Park. You know Gouveia? That’s the place where nobody ever goes. In one of their earlier crowning achievements, the then-Dem board took a piddling $12,000 estimate for the driveway and parking lot and majestically transformed it into a vast $215,000 venture. An 1,800% increase! Without even breaking a sweat!

And, joy of joys, they now tell us that the $215,000 road and parking lot just won’t work anymore and we need to spend an estimated $750,000 more to finally get it right. Plus, they’ve budgeted another $500,000 to renovate the house.

Now, c’mon guys. We know you’ve got another magical financial coup up your sleeves. Your phenomenal fiscal track record tells us that you’ve barely gotten started on Gouveia. You’re just teasing us with those numbers, aren’t you?

We know that, just as we’re getting comfortable with your current estimates, wham! Bam! Surprise! With great fanfare you’ll announce all of the extra zeros you’ll be adding to the costs. Elation will reign throughout our village! You’ll have done it once again!

The Wiegman board merely doubled Croton’s debt during its tenure. Chicken feed! We are fully confident that you will far exceed even their august achievements. We can take pride in the fact that, before you’re finished, you will lift Croton from its subordinate position as just one of the few most indebted villages in New York, to the very top spot. The most indebted community in all of the Empire State! And with just a little more effort, you can raise us up to the ultimate pinnacle. The most indebted village in the entire nation! What an astounding accomplishment to post on our village letterhead.

We know you’ve got it in you. We have full confidence you can do it! And we’re all behind you cheering all the way.

Joel E. Gingold